Trishna : rain & desire

ससीकराम्भोधरमत्तकुञ्जर-

स्तडित्पताकाशनिशब्दमर्दलः।

समागतो राजवदुद्धतद्युतिः-

र्घनागमः कामिजनप्रियः प्रिये॥

“The season of clouds arrives, dear beloved, like a king in his full glory,  his powerful elephants are the rain drenched thunderheads, his banners the lightning, his war drums are the crash of thunder. And this King is dear above all to those who are lovers." Kalidasa ( Ṛtusaṃhāra)

The rain and the desire. What it teaches us is not to shame ourselves for our desire, but to let it rain down all over our existence. Let it blossom. Let the storm rage so that it may calm in time, and later you can see yourself clearly. Let's quench your thirst, and relax fully within yourself.

The parched dharani ( land ) quivers at the arrival of the dark messengers of her beloved, who is coming to touch her with his infinite arms. The sheer anticipation gives her goosebumps. Each dried plant, tree, and seed buried deep within her awaits for that festival. And at one moment, it happens. She dances with such force that the intoxicating petrichor ( fragrance ) of their first union transports everyone into heaven. As Abhinavagupta said, Shringara is the Rasa Raja and monsoon is the throne of that King ( Shringara ).

Everyone who has drunk the nectar of monsoon yearns to come out and celebrate with her. When my Sakhi ( beloved)  steps into the river, I feel as though Rati herself is dipping her feet into the river of Kama ( desire).

 The seed of creation awakens with her dancing feet. The ocean falls upon her in infinite droplets, and in falling, it lays bare the beauty she usually hides. The cloth that covers her is the very thing that bares her. What a paradox ! Instead of blushing, she dances with the rhythm of the river. I cast away all the burden to the wind and watched her in another Roop ( form ) , a supple body, curved like a serpent playing with the ripples. And I find myself in a dilemma: do I appreciate her appearance, or her nature? Then I let that burden fall away from my mind altogether. Do I ask the same permission of my moral mind when I see a tree, or a butterfly 🦋, or a river? Then why should I question it when I see her?

Her mere presence is proof of beauty's existence, within her and outside her.

The seed of desire blossoms from the cosmic womb, and from it is born the intricate web of life, throbbing with Naad (sound/vibration) and Bindu (potency/seed). This divine ritual of the cosmos plays out on earth every monsoon, through the Rasa Raja, Shringara. The world is struck not only by raindrops but by those same raindrops, which double as the arrows of Madan (Kama). When she ( beloved Rati) is drenched by the rain, she does not invite desire so much as awaken it ; stirring the dormant potency of the erstwhile Purusha ( masculine principal ) and activating the chakra of life. Each of her Vibhrams (gestures) sends the blood moving in my veins, until I am completely engulfed in the wish to be in her embrace. In this world of desire, I forget who I am and float in bliss. Nature covers all doubts and hides us from the world.

The union of the earth and ocean blossoms within me, in infinite forms, in multitudes. Everyone forgets the long summer. The thirst that was once unbearable is long gone. I float in the wonder of her existence. I bow to her primordial being  the one who rises from deep within me, beyond any mortal labels, language, or system. She awakens me as a Purusha, ready to be moved, completely lost in the act of creation through surrender and love. You are the one who is a moving poem ; art in motion. You are the holy desire that carries me from flesh to beyond. Trishna is the one who stands beyond all pretence, laying bare every illusion and theory. You are the harbinger of storm and calm, both at once. You are the eternal question, where the answer lies hidden within itself.

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Muse : K Raginee Yogesh

Words & Images : Yogesh Kardile

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